ABC's of Conflict Avoidance and Resolution Self Defense Training For Children and Adults

A - Avoid Potentially Dangerous Situations
B - Be Calm, Breathe
C - Communicate with Confidence and Respect
D - Don't Put Yourself in A Worse Situation
E - Environment Can Be Used to Your Advantage
F - Stands For Yelling "FIRE" Instead of "HELP"
G - Get Away
H - Hit Hard, Hit Fast, Hit First

A = Avoid Potentially Dangerous Situations

The single most important step in conflict avoidance is knowing where NOT to be. The ability to recognize potentially dangerous situations is more than just common sense. It is a learned skill that should be practiced.

There are three types of people.

The first person is absolutely convinced that there is someone hiding around the corner. This person is paranoid.

The second person is absolutely convinced that there is no one around the corner. This person is naive.

The third person thinks that there might be someone waiting around the corner, so they take the appropriate precautions. This person is a careful person.

We want to you to become careful people.

Do not underestimate the value of the first step. If we can get you in the habits of being aware of your surroundings and always consciously being as careful as possible, you will be much less likely to be confronted violently.

Some potentially dangerous situations and ways to avoid them:

1. A single mother is going to the laundry room alone at night.
Solution: Go early in the morning instead and use the buddy system.

2. Driving in a strange town and getting lost.
Solution: Make sure you have an accurate map and ask for clear-cut directions. Learn what parts of town are okay and what parts you should stay away from.

3. A group of kids wanting to play around a construction site.
Solution: Talk your friends into going to the park instead.

4. A child walking home on a street with lots of traffic.
Solution: Learn alternate routes that are less crowded.


B = Be Calm, Breathe

Most people tend to become emotional and react accordingly when confronted with an intimidating situation. They might act angry, afraid, or intimidated. Remember, logic and emotion are like oil and water; they don’t mix. When you react emotionally to a situation, you are almost always going to make a poor decision that will further provoke the situation.

In order to think clearly and logically in an intimidating situation, it is important to become calm. Believe it or not, the easiest to maintain a calm disposition is to talk slow, deep breaths, rather than the fast, shallow breaths that usually accompany an emotional outburst.

"He who loses control of his emotions gives his opponent a powerful ally."

Helping to maintain a clam attitude allows you to respond, rather than react. When you can calmly respond to an intimidating situation, you have the best chance of discussing the situation peacefully, because you are appealing to the other person’s logic rather than emotion.

Another way to maintain a calm disposition in an uncomfortable situation is to visualize the aggressor in a less intimidating fashion; i.e., with a clown nose on or standing in their underwear. This obviously is not always appropriate, but can come in handy in some circumstances.

Visualize being in a threatening situation. Then try to take slow, deep breaths and remain as calm as possible. Remember, just knowing how to take deep breaths in threatening situations is not enough; it has to become second nature. The only way to make it second nature is practice. When confronted with an unavoidable situation, remaining calm is the key to responding to the situation instead of reacting to it. A simple deep breath is a powerful balm for calming the nervous system.

Also emphasize that the most dangerous emotions in a confrontation are fear and anger. Remember to put your shoulders back and tip their head up slightly to allow for deeper breaths.

C = Communicate With Confidence

Studies have shown us that most people who are the victims of violent crimes send out some sort of “signal” saying that they are vulnerable. Their body language conveys the idea that they are weak and easily intimidated.

Other studies involving people who are frequently involved with verbal or physical altercations show that these people send out signals of arrogance and disrespect.

The solution is simple. If you can learn to present yourself in a confident and respectful manner, you are less likely to attract trouble.

Let's identify the signals an insecure person sends out. How do they carry themselves? Are their shoulders hunched forward? Do they look downward, afraid to make eye contact? Do they speak softly and walk as though they are not sure where they are going?

The next step is to identify the signals that “Confident” people send out. Remember what these signals are and how to make them their own. Remember, even if a person doesn’t feel confident, they can appear confident by “acting” it.

Five basic traits of a confident person: Confident people always Look people in the eye, especially when first meeting someone.

1. Look people in the eye, especially when first meeting someone.
2. Keep their shoulders back and chin up.
3. Walk with purpose, like they know where they are going.
4. Speak clearly and confidently (but not arrogantly).
5. Appear alert and aware of their surroundings.

D = Don't Put Yourself In A Worse Situation Than You Are Already In

It is important to remember that, although we cannot always control our environment, we can always control how we respond to our environment. How we respond will usually determine the outcome.
Once we understand that we are in control of how we respond in any given situation, we also understand that our actions can either make the situation better or worse. Here are several examples:

1. In the middle of an argument, the other person starts to yell and hurl insults. Although it might be tempting, don’t react in the same manner. Instead, listen clearly to the other person’s point of view and then respond calmly. To react emotionally will only serve to make things worse.
2. If, while walking down the street, someone pulls up next to you and, at gunpoint, tells you to get into their car, refuse to do it. Although refusing to get into the car will obviously infuriate your assailant, you are still much better off than if you were to get in the car. Once in the car, you are completely at the mercy of your assailant.
3. Someone breaks into your home and is going to rob you. They tell you they are going to tie you up. Respond by letting know that they can take anything they want and you won’t get in the way, but you will not let them tie you up.
4. When walking home from school, you see a group of kids up ahead looking for trouble. Instead of walking past them, take another route home. Remember, you’re not a coward for avoiding the, you are intelligent.

E = Environment Can Be Used To Your Advantage

Being aware of your environment is critically important in making the best of a bad situation. Your environment can work for or against you. Awareness of your environment is a powerful tool for avoiding or dissipating a conflict.

A child should be taught where the “safe” houses are in the neighborhood. They should be taught whom to go to when in need of assistance. A safe choice is to teach your young students to look for someone in a uniform, a parent with child, or, in certain circumstances, even a stranger.

You should be reminded of the basics of how to use your environment to your advantage. Park in well lit areas. Stay away from known trouble spots. Shop during the day when possible. When out at night, keep the car doors locked. Use the buddy system whenever possible. Keep as much distance as possible between yourself and a would-be attacker, etc.

Learn to identify the natural weapons available to you in any given environment can be beneficial. Some natural weapons could be car keys, lip or eyeliner pencil, a coffee mug (imagine getting hit on the bridge of the nose with the rim of a coffee mug), a shoe held in the hand, or even a belt.

Brainstorm with your family and friends to come up with other natural weapons for possible defense.


F = Stands For Yelling "FIRE" Instead Of "HELP"

Yelling "Fire" is a good alternative to yelling, "Help". Often people will not respond to a direct plea for help because they are afraid to become involved. But, everyone is curious when someone yells “Fire”. The attention that yelling “Fire” brings to a situation, may be enough to dissipate it.

Also, there are other comments to shout that may be helpful, depending on the situation or the person's age. Learn alternative comments such as, "He's not my dad", or "He's trying to kidnap me". Give them choice if confronted with a potentially dangerous situation.


G = Get Away

The point in any confrontation should be to “Get Away” as soon as possible, not to “Win”. You must know that running from a dangerous situation is OK to do.

In today's climate, there are too many variables that come into play. The repercussions of winning an argument or fight aren't worth it.

Make your objective to end the conflict not to “win” the conflict. Getting away from a dangerous situation is always a top priority.

Remember the wisdom of this step by pointing out the potential for revenge if the confrontation escalates to violence or potential legal repercussions.

Also remember that this Get Away step is really their last option to avoid conflict.


H = Hit Hard, Hit Fast, Hit First

When you have done everything in your power to avoid a confrontation, but are unsuccessful, the worst thing that you can do is to let your opponent strike first. If the aggressor steps inside your comfort zone, you have two options. The first is to step back out of range; the second is to strike. If you are forced to defend yourself, don’t hesitate! Hit Hard, Hit Fast, Hit First.

A person who knows how to strike without telegraphing and is close enough to touch the opponent can almost, without exception, be effective with the first strike or two. This is why it is important to strike first; because if your opponent strikes first, chances are you are going to get hit.

If you strike first, but pick a poor target and/or a weak strike, you will probably lose your advantage. That is why having effective striking zones is important.

Programming basic, powerful strikes to designated areas; such as neck, nose, knee, and groin; will give your students a powerful advantage.

From H to A

Once a situation has become a violent confrontation, practice and training yourself to work backwards from H to A.

First "Hit Hard, Hit Fast, Hit First"(H)

Then "Get Away" (G)

As you exit the situation, yell "FIRE" to attract attention to mitigate further conflict (F)

Pay attention to how your "Environment" will benefit your safety (E)

So you "Don't Put Yourself in a Worse Situation Than You Are Already In"(D)

"Communicate With Confidence" your needs to anyone in uniform, or even a stranger who can help eliminate the conflict. (C)

Remember to "Be Calm and Breathe" to remain in control of your body (B)

Finally, use what you learned from this situation to "Avoid a Potentially Dangerous Situations" in the future (A)

* Thank you to Kyoshi Dave Kovar at Kovars Satori Academy for these tools.
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Here is our take on the subject with some modifications from a professional protector.

The ABC's of Personal Safety from a Security Self Defense Specialist

Self Defense Tips - The ABC's of Personal Safety and Security for Personal Protection

Self defense is something everyone knows that we should learn, yet few actually do. Rather than use a few self defense or fighting tips as an emotional pacifier, it is important to test and apply what you think you know. It is through this process that self defense competence is built.

With self defense competence comes personal protection and security confidence. A good self defense instructor will ad to your peace of mind and help you use your innate survival signals and skills to bring to bear in protecting yourself and/or the ones you love.

When you learn to defend yourself you are less likely to have to because:

1. You tend to avoid potentially dangerous situations because you recognize them earlier
2. You are more likely to trust your intuition/gut feelings therefore act on them
3. Project more confidence which often removes you from the victim profile. Criminals like easy targets, not difficult ones.

HERE ARE A FEW OF OUR ABC's OF PERSONAL PROTECTION - SELF DEFENSE STRATEGIES FOR PERSONAL SECURITY

Alert to Avoid Potentially Dangerous Situations

• Knowledge and Awareness of dangerous situations and how criminals operate
• Trusting instincts and Acting on intuition
• Always observe safe habits and practices
• Remember, we are always building habits - so practice good ones

Breathe and Be Calm by Believing you have options

• Belly Breath with Backpressure on exhale helps manage stress, adrenaline and fear
• Be looking for opportunities, weapons, barriers, escape routes and targets
• Be prepared with training and a plan but Be flexible

Communicate with Confidence and Commit

• Clearly say and demonstrate directly what you mean and mean what you say
• Change the Context of any situation you feel might lead to a violent encounter
• Commit to your plan and execute with intensity

Distance

• Whenever you increase distance, you increase time and options and usually deny the targets

Eyes on targets and Escape options

• Eyes, neck, groin, knees, Everything's a weapon, Escape

Recommended reading: "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker

Personal Security and Self-Defense Training Courses
Dinoto Karate Center
127 Ark Road
Mount Laurel NJ 08054
856-235-0414
http://mountlaurelmartialarts.com/

* Credit for the original ABC's of Conflict Avoidance to Kiyoshi Dave Kovar http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpcB_2_kMKs

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This blog is part of Peter Liciaga's effort to promote Dinoto Karate Center (http://www.MountLaurelMartialArts.com) and the Ultimate Black Belt Test Program ( http://www.ultimateblackbelttest.com), which is an undertaking of The 100. (http://www.the100.us/), and a part of Peter Liciaga's Dream 100 Project.

The Reality of Assault -- Living Hero

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Here is a blog post from, Chris Feldt, a good friend of mine and a member of the 100. and UBBT. This article is a reminder of the important work that we, as martial artist, self-defense experts and educators are involved in (or should be involved in).

The Reality of Assault - Living Hero (by Chris Feldt)

Last week, I was having lunch in the honor's dorm on the campus of the University of South Carolina. I had just finished teaching my beginner karate class and figured I would share a brief visit with my son who is a sophomore there.

While waiting for my son, one of the cafeteria workers asked if I was an instructor at USC, and I replied yes, as I was wearing my gi.

She wanted to know if I thought it was possible for her to learn self defense.? Of course I said yes, but I could tell there was more to the question?

After chatting with her a couple of minutes, she bravely shared with me that she was assaulted 10 years ago and was still dealing with the psychological trauma it caused.

She was attacked from behind and drugged with a narcotic that made her pass out. She was kidnapped and assaulted for nearly 3 weeks in the basement of the attacker's house. She even showed me some of the scars on her arm where he cut her and threatened to kill her if she resisted.

My understanding is, the only reason she survived, is a woman who lived next store to this horrible man, heard whimpering one day and thought one of her cats was in distress, only to discover, that it was a human being that was making that noise. The man was arrested and sent to prison.

Fast forward nearly 10 years and she is still struggling with what happened to her. While she does not remember much of the physical torture, she is very fearful and has a distinct lack of trust for men and strangers. Thankfully, she is getting treatment with a psychologist to help her address these issue.

After telling her how sorry I was for what had happened, I invited her to my next self defense workshop (which happens to be this week) but asked her to speak to her psychologist first to make sure it was a good idea (if she was ready) for her to do this. If that was not good for her, I asked her to see if there were a group of women from the cafeteria that might be interested in learning self defense and I would come back and give them a private workshop.

I am sharing this with you for two reasons:

1. There are many women (and men) that are out there, just ready to be a victim of assault! In my experience, the average person has no clue, not only in how to defend themselves, but they lack simple knowledge in awareness and body language or how to use their voice.

When I first joined The 100 and UBBT, Coach Tom encouraged me to offer the free workshops and train as many women as possible. For me, there is something quite liberating when you do this work from the heart without looking for something in return (money). And if in the end, I helped even just one woman avoid the kind of assault this woman experienced, well, that would really be GOOD work!

2. I wanted to share this story with you because I have selected this woman as one of my living heroes for this year! Imagine, walking up to a stranger (a man) and having the courage to talk to me and share her story after what happened to her? Truthfully, I don't think I have half the "guts" that she has!

I know there are many women like her, that lead a life of courage, grace and dignity after something so horrible like this happens.

Remarkable!

Yes?

"Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and frogiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength." August Wilson

If you would like to see the great (and useful) comments on this article from other martial arts experts, Ph.D's, and education activist, go HERE.

This blog post is a part of The Ultimate Black Belt Test (www.ultimateblackbelttest.com), an undertaking of The 100 (www.the100.us), and a part of Samurai Karate Studio (www.samuraikaratestudio.net) and The Dream 100. (www.thedream100.com)

Martial Arts Curriculum for Kids. A New Era in Curriculum.

Recommendations for Martial Arts Curriculum, for Young People, For Today’s World

This curriculum is assembled, structured, in order to teach what I consider to be “good martial arts.” What I teach today as a man of 50, a man with children, with a grandchild, a man who has outlived one of his children father, and who has outlived some of his friends, is not what I was taught at the age of 30.

What I teach today, with nearly 40 years of experience, is not what I thought I knew when I got my black belt or when I had 15 years or 20 years or 30 years of experience. What I teach today has been shaped, in part, by my many failures, my occasional successes, by my work with inner-city kids, by Nick Vujicic, by Dr. Patch Adams, by Theresa Burroughs, by Tom Callos, by the war for oil in the Persian Gulf, and by the explosion of information technology.

Self-defense, today, is so much bigger than we ever thought about in 1973 or ‘79 or ‘84 or at any time in recent history. It is predicted that 1 in 3 children will be affected by type II diabetes in the next decade. Obesity is considered a national epidemic. And not one of the top 10 killers of men, women, or children has any relation to anything involving a kata, a block, a choke defense, a kick, or reality-based self-defense training.

In the 1950’s and ‘60’s, self-defense books showed defense from soldiers sporting bayonets. If it didn’t show soldiers, it showed men in suits with ties and women in dresses with bonnets like my mother use to wear. In the 1970’s and ‘80’s, self-defense was David Caradine and Bruce Lee. It was Joe Lewis teaching Playboy bunnies in the pages of Black Belt Magazine. It was “the death touch” and really weird guys from Chicago. We spent a lot of time debating what style was most effective on the street.

Today’s self-defense isn’t about “style” at all. It's about what we eat and where that food comes from. It’s about what we consume and where it goes when we throw it away (and where is “away?”). It’s about obesity and diabetes and domestic violence, bullying, ageism, sexism, positive self-images for girls and boys, racial and gender prejudice, Wall Street and corporate greed, pesticides, cancer, drugs, attachment, nationalism, hyper-aggressive masculinity, oil, and so many things that aren’t about the martial arts I grew up on that it is, literally, a whole new era for “self-defense.”

When my young students leave my care, whether after a month or years of practice, I want them to know as much about real fitness as I have the ability to impart. That’s not just physical fitness I’m talking about, but mental, emotional, spiritual, and social “fitness,” as ill health isn’t only a disease of the body. If I knew nothing about the world, I might be content to teach the martial arts I grew up with. Fortunately, I have grown --and so has my martial arts.

I want my students to know real, pedal to the metal self-defense, but not just physical self-defense. Attitude and beliefs about other people, about relationships, about money, about food, about our obligation (or lack thereof) to our communities, about waste, about conformity, violence, and about education, well, these things are just as, if not MORE relevant to personal protection today, than any physical maneuver of “the martial arts.”

As a “Sabom” (master martial arts teacher) in today’s world, my martial arts --and as a result, my curriculum, has changed and evolved as much as the world has between the time President Theodore Roosevelt practiced judo in The White House (1903) and today, July 23, 2011.

Curriculum for Kids.

Community Involvement

Each belt a student advances should require the student to have conceived, planned, and executed a “project” that exemplifies the idea of “out of the dojang and into the world.” The project should engage the student in something they’re interested in, but it MUST help someone or something in the community. Each project should be kept in an on-line “project portfolio.”



Dietary Self-Defense

Each student should be well trained --and practiced --in dietary self-defense. It is absolutely unacceptable that a child should move into his or her high school years and not have a solid understanding of what healthy eating is --and is not.



Peace and Non-Violence Training

Attitudes about conflict, gender roles, race, and the media affect mental health and society’s propensity for violence. No student should go through authentic martial arts training without learning as much about the “art” of peace as they know about the physical aspects of their “martial” art.



Environmental Self-Defense

We can no sooner ignore our impact on the environment as we can walk into a lion’s cage wearing a steak suit. Every young person who goes through the belt ranks of a martial arts “system,” should know the basics of environmental self-defense as well as they know the basics of physical self defense.



Mindfulness Training

The opposite of "being mindful" is "being mindless." Every young martial arts student should know what mindful living is --and have a very full toolbox of resources for all that living as a mindful, aware, and high-functioning human being involves. Furthermore, knowing what mindfulness is, doesn't have 1/1000th the value of knowing how to practice mindfulness. The student who spends any significant amount of time studying the martial arts, should be as proficient at living mindfully as he or she is in the "art" in question.



If you are a parent or someone interested in a curriculum / program that instills the discipline of martial arts that is practical for the world today, contact us using the comments section below. Or, contact Peter Liciaga at pliciaga@gmail.com

This blog is part of Peter Liciaga's community activism effort for the Ultimate Black Belt Test Program ( http://www.ultimateblackbelttest.com/ ), which is an undertaking of The 100. ( http://www.the100.us/ ), and a part of Peter Liciaga's Dream 100 Project.

Lesson 1 of 5 Lessons in Dietary Self Defense

Good food is our essence. - If you want to be smarter, better looking, have clearer skin, feel better, run faster, be better at sports, have better health, have more energy, no gimmick in the world compares to pure plain water and good wholesome food.

 

Through the next 9 lessons we are going to explore what that means. What healthy food is, how to prepare it and how to bring it to your family and community.

 

Start now by drinking at least 8 glasses of good CLEAN water. Start with a glass upon waking. Before breakfast, INSTEAD of coffee.

 

Make small changes to start. Have a piece of fruit instead of a danish or muffin. A salad for lunch instead of a sandwich. Nothing beats food as close to its natural state.

 

It's said in every culture,
"You are what you eat!"

• Lesson Two
• Lesson Three
• Lesson Four
• Lesson Five

Parents Night Out

Hello everyone! Hope your Memorial Day was as great as mine! Parents Night Out is going to be on Saturday, June 11th from 5 to 8PM. Space is extremely limited so see Mrs. Dinoto right away to reserve your spot. The cost is as follows: Basic Members $20; BBC $10; LP/CIT $5; Friends and Family $10. Feel free to email me with any questions.

Women in the Martial Arts - What men need to learn...

Here is a great article written by my self-defense coach and mentor, Bill Kipp

Women in the Martial Arts

The martial Arts world has evolved a great deal over the years, particularly in the past decade or so. The “old school” mentality has been primarily overtaken by the new wave of successful martial arts schools where both children and women are taking a much more involved role. Children now comprise the largest MA student populace and are the bread and butter of most successful martial arts schools.

In addition, the role of women as instructors and as students has also become quite significant. In the old days women had a very rough time dealing with the “good ole’ boy” mentality prevalent in the martial arts community. Some of these women persevered, with huge credit due to them for doing so. Others left those schools to start their own where they wouldn’t have to deal with such unnecessary abuse. And sadly, many of these early female students left due to not finding the very safety that led them to the martial arts in the first place. Over the years many of us men have per force become more sensitive to the unique issues that arise for women. Women not only have every right to be martial arts school owners and instructors, they have proven to be valuable resources as instructors of male owned schools and very adept school owners themselves.

In my travels teaching adrenal stress response training at schools across America and abroad, I have the opportunity to meet many of these inspirational women and to hear first hand what they have and in some cases still must go through in this highly competitive industry. Although most of the good ole boy mentality is gone, there still exist complicated dynamics between the genders in the martial arts world even in best-case scenario.

The following is a situation that personally occurred to me that illustrates the unique challenges that many male school owners and female students face in a traditional Martial Arts environment. The experience taught me a great deal, though it came at a cost. It is my hope that the story can help others prevent such occurrences from happening in your school.

“It started pretty much as a typical Wednesday open sparring night. The standard 8-10 regulars were there as well as a couple of guys from another local school who often showed up to play. Most of the participants were men, but there were a couple of women as well. One woman was Terri, an established Black Belt and the other was Kathy, a Blue Belt who was outwardly pretty tense but showed a lot of heart. I always sensed there was something going on inside her that she was trying to cover up, but felt it wasn’t my place to dig where I didn’t belong. Heck, I was a martial artist, not a therapist, and none of my previous instructors had ever asked how I was “feeling”. You either show up for sparring or you don’t.”

“The group started pairing off and followed the standard rules of agreement on the level of intensity before squaring off with each other. I was absorbed in working with a young guy who was preparing for an upcoming test when I detected a change in the group energy. I turned to see Kathy, the Blue Belt woman, quickly bow off the floor. A quick scan of the room showed she had been paired up with Jim, one of those guys who by nature goes harder than he likes to admit. You know the type. He stood there with shoulders hunched in a confused gesture and voiced that he had accidentally popped Kathy “lightly” and she “just ran off”. Throwing him an irritated “We’ve discussed this problem before” kind of glance, I left the floor to check on Kathy. Terri, the Black Belt woman was already there consoling her. It looked like Kathy might be crying but she refused to show me any tears. Putting up a stiff upper lip she mentioned she was “fine” and that everything was okay. Terri assured me that she had the situation under control so I returned to the floor. After re-administering my standard warning to all about control and following the rules of agreement, sparring continued. A short time later I saw Kathy leaving the school and went over to ask how she was doing. Again she assured me that everything was okay as she walked out the door. Terri returned to sparring and we finished the session without further incident.”

“A couple of weeks went by and I saw no sign of Kathy. When I inquired to Terri about what was up, her reply caught me off guard. Taking me aside, she explained that Kathy was in an abusive relationship and had received several beatings from her alcoholic husband over the years, one of them quite recently. This was the very reason she had originally signed up for the martial arts. My expression conveyed the amazement common among men who simply can’t comprehend why anyone would ever stay in such a relationship. Terri said it was a difficult situation and that we should give Kathy space to determine if and when she wanted to resume class. She also mentioned that being a woman in martial arts was far different than it was for men. At the time I had no real idea of what she meant, nor did I have any plausible solutions.”

“Sadly, Kathy never returned for another class. Even worse, I later learned that she had actually tried to fight off her husband using the techniques I had taught her and that her self-defense attempts had only enraged her drunken husband into beating her worse. Needless to say the incident hit me pretty hard, and I felt pretty helpless about it all.”

This incident occurred approximately eighteen years ago. I had just returned from 2 years of living and studying Martial Arts in Asia after a four-year hitch in a Marine Recon Unit. Teaching the Martial Arts was my joy and helped provide extra income. Like most male martial arts instructors, I was a nice guy who genuinely cared about people and their ability to defend themselves. But I was way out of touch with the issues that can come up when working with women in this male dominated environment. Now, after fifteen years of co-teaching women’s self defense seminars with various female experts on violence against women, and having worked with literally hundreds of abuse survivors, the picture is much clearer.

As I see it, there are 3 very important issues that are not being addressed in most martial arts schools:

1. As men, it is very difficult to understand the level of intimidation and fear that many women feel in everyday situations that guys take for granted. This dynamic is definitely alive in the martial arts world. Fortunately a lot of the “good ole boy” attitude has been left behind, though certainly not all of it. But even in progressive schools the environment can still be very challenging for women. Whether female students have any history of abuse or not, activities like sparring or grappling with the nicest of guys can trigger emotional issues. More women students leave the Martial Arts for these reasons than most of us realize.
2. Teaching women the standard self-defense moves that were handed down to us by our instructors are often not only insufficient for dealing with the ways that women are attacked, they can actually set up women to be greater victims. This does not mean that the martial arts are wrong or bad, but that traditional MA training lacks components that are critical for women to effectively deal with violent confrontations. If these standard self-defense methods have gotten many a Black Belt man beaten by a good street-fighter (and they have!), imagine how many women martial artists have been hurt over the years in violent altercations.
3. The majority of attacks on women are perpetrated by someone that they know. It’s one thing to fight back in a dark alley where it’s is clearly an assault, and another matter completely to fight back against abusive friends, co-workers, boyfriends, or husbands where the boundaries are already vague and the socio-conditioning screams at them to not fight back, don’t make a scene, and just put up with the behavior. Date rape and battered women syndrome are very real problems with very real psychological issues that require solutions far beyond the scope of physical defense techniques.

The Martial Arts are technique-based paradigms. Each student makes a long-term journey to learn and master the various physical techniques required of their respective style. The success of the new evolution of self-defense programs (EZ Defense, FAST, RMCAT, and others) has shown that real life self-defense requires more than just physical techniques.

Awareness and education of the following dynamics of assault and the mistakes people make under duress is crucial for self defense to be effective:

• The socio conditioning that can keep someone from fighting back at all
• The often debilitating effects of the adrenaline fear response
• The mindset and intention of attackers
• The verbal skills to de-escalate or ward off a hostile person
• The proper mindset to act when needed. If a person is unable or unwilling to fight back with absolute commitment, no technique in the world is going to help them.

We are not therapists but we do owe our students the very best instruction and help we can provide. If you know of a woman who has been in or is currently in an abusive relationship, there are resources available in most communities to help deal with this problem. You will help by being supportive and pointing her in the right direction to get help from professionals who have experience with these issues. Your local Rape Crisis Center, Battered Women’s Shelter, and Victims Assistance (usually attached to the District Attorney’s Office), can all point you in the right direction if they can’t help you directly. They can also provide you with a reading list or personal training on how to better address violence against women.

Simply being aware of these complicated issues goes a long way in being more sensitive to the unique needs of female students and providing a safe environment for them to train. The communication age is about breaking barriers and improving our lives faster and better than ever before. It is time to further break out of the box of the good ole boy Karate Gym and provide the highest quality service we can to all of our students. They deserve nothing less and we all benefit from the effort!

~ Bill Kipp

FAST Defense Website

Dinoto Karate Center's self-defense for women call 856-235-0414 or email Master Erika Dinoto at dinotokarate@gmail.com

Introduction to Verbal Self Defense (Anti-bullying program)

Here is a 20 minute introduction to our Verbal Self-defense program. Grab a cup of coffee or a tea and sit back for a short 20 minute seminar on a program that will teach you and your child how to protect yourself against bullies.

Tweeting Martial Arts...and more!

For the past several months I’ve been posting videos, photos, commentary and insights in the various areas of martial arts training - self-defense, fitness, diet, anti-bullying, anger management, verbal self-defense, training for over 50, girls self-esteem, boys positive self-image...oh, yeah, even some kicks, punches, grappling and weapons training. Some of you have been to my Facebook page for Peter Liciaga to see more photos, watch videos or ask a question (http://www.facebook.com/pliciaga). Others have followed my tweets at http://twitter.com/#!/peterliciaga where you’ll see even more comments and videos but mostly my thoughts on what I’m experiencing at any particular moment during my own training to 5th degree black belt.

I’ve also linked off both of these sites to http://www.peterliciaga.org/ , my BETA site being designed and built for parents, educators and martial artists to connect and communicate with community projects, resources and experts in several fields. Here’s a link to a couple of channels with videos I’ve been able to load up during my training:

• My Training Chronicles
• DKC Channel
• Kids Teaching Kids Channel
• Self-esteem For Girls
• Words of Wisdom Channel
• Chronicles of Doneghy (martial artist over 60)

What’s great about all of these different mediums is how they allow both the martial artists and the students (or soon to be student) to learn more about great martial arts, all at the click of a mouse. In one case, you can “fan” me on the Peter Liciaga Facebook page and my updates and self-defense article links will show up periodically on your wall. You can encourage family, friends and neighbors to do the same and they will see those same updates. If you want to read my articles and see links to other media from my training, workshops and events, then you can go to Twitter and follow me at PLiciaga. Twitter allows me to communicate one-on-many or one-on-one with people interested in the kinds of projects and training I’m working on at that moment.

Finally there is DinotoKarate.com and what I call our current “work in progress” as we finalize a number of enhancements that will make it the “go to” place for you to communicate and connect with anything that has to do with martial arts and self-defense. For instance, if you would like information about bullying, there's our Stop Bullying Now Project; or if it's anger management for children, you have Anger411. Or, how about 10 Simple Lessons for Self Defense for Youth? From my Flip Camera or my Smart Phone to my laptop, my online channels and websites, I was able to create video lessons, even a brief commentary, and immediately post them to my Facebook page (http://www.facebook.com/pliciaga), my Twitter page at (http://twitter.com/#!/peterliciaga) and my here on my blog.

If you had been following either or both of these platforms, you would have been able to share in these experiences and share them with your friends as well. As you know, friends are always looking for information and ideas about martial arts, safety, bullying, protection, including developing the discipline to lose weight and get fit.

My ultimate goal is to be able to provide insights to both you and your freinds that will inspire a healthy lifestyle. This month it’s the Mardi Gras Spring Fling Celebration at Dinoto Karate Center , as you’ve seen from my many updates. Next month I’m off to Greensboro, Alabama with my camera and laptop to help build a home for an elderly lady, make some repairs in the community and teach some seminars/workshops to the youth along with 50 to 100 fellow martial arts masters and their students. Stay tuned.

More importantly, tune into my where-abouts and "up to's" via whatever medium you feel most comfortable with and I’ll do my best to keep you in tune with what I see, hear, learn and experience. For one more way to see what I’m up to, visit http://www.peterliciaga.org/

Peter Liciaga is an Education Activist, Master Martial Arts Instructor, Self-Defense Expert and Key Note Speaker working with youth, parents, educators and community leaders.

2 Simple Self Defense Tips

Here are two simple self-defense tips, a one-minute-read, that could save your life --and/or the life of someone you love.

Ready?

1. Eat MINDFULLY. Eating without paying attention causes you to eat the wrong things and/or too much food. Doing either (or both) could, as they say, “take the shine off your shoes.” Heart disease, diabetes, and all sorts of ailments await the person who doesn’t practice mindful eating. Look to the video, below, for for some mindful eating basics (it’s Harvard Professor, Dr. Lilian Cheung, co-author of Savor, Mindful Eating, Mindful Life): The video is here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Emd9q6_o6Z0
2. The self-defense expert Sanford Strong, author of Strong on Defense, sets forth four survival rules that everyone should know if faced with a dangerous situation or attack:

• React immediately
• Resist,
• Avoid crime scene #2
• Never give up.

Want more? (We want you to want more!)

We are actively recruiting women (mothers and daughters) in our community for an upcoming 2 hour “What I Need to Know About Self-Defense” workshop. If you would like to be on our “Self-Defense Tips” mailing list and/or hear more about our workshops, please contact us here: masterliciaga@dinotokarate.com or call me Peter Liciaga directly at 856-235-0414.

Self-Defense is Found in the Simple Things

We teach self-defense --and self-defense is found in the simplest of things. Kindness, for example; kindness is a beautiful form of self-defense. Good food --and the appreciation of it; there’s great kind of self-defense!

Oh, and how about love of community? Participation in --and love for --one’s community is a kind of self-defense that’s impossible to put a value on.

And my favorite kind of self-defense is found in a simple rule, The Golden Rule:

Treat others as you would want them to treat you.

Simply perfect.

I like Tom Callos’ (www.tomcallos.com) description of self-defense too:

“Self-defense isn’t only about personal protection, it’s about taking care of the people around you and the place you live as well.”

And of course, self-defense training is all you already imagined it to be, but with this particular attitude about it, self-defense becomes about living a good life. What a great idea.

For information about our school and our self-defense lessons for today’s world, contact us HERE.

Self-Defense? Oh Yeah, It’s About Diet Soda (Is it?)

Did you, by chance, see the article on-line that reported a study about drinking diet soda? The report suggested that there was a 61% higher risk of vascular events (like strokes and heart attacks) for people who drank a diet soda every day.
Now whether that report is accurate or not is not the issue. What IS the issue is that your health is linked to what you (do or do not) consume. This is so important an aspect of self-defense that my colleagues and I have started a website called www.DietarySelfDefense.com . Nutritionist and black belt Mike Tubbs oversees the site --and loads plate-fulls of useful reminders and information there.

Food and nutrition information is finding its way into our schools and on to our mats too (not to mention, in our mouths!). It’s about time!

Self-defense training is so much more than learning how to handle yourself in a hand-to-hand combat situation. If self-defense (of any kind) is of interest to you, call us. We’re collecting stories, people, and ideas around the topic of, well, EVERYTHING Self-Defense.

Our contact information: Peter Liciaga c/o Dinoto Karate Center, Mt. Laurel NJ

856-235-0414 or visit us HERE

Here’s the link to the story on diet soda: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/41479869/ns/health-diet_and_nutrition

Martial Arts? You would do well with a few "things."

In the martial arts, to make true and worthwhile progress, you would do well to have a few "things."

One of those things is patience. Patience means you look at the long-term benefits of steady, consistent training; not too hard and not to easy, but training that’s varied, interesting, and --eventually --both meditative and challenging.

Another thing is the big picture view. Your martial arts practice should not be limited to --or even predominately on --the mat. The awareness, the calmness, the confidence, should make it’s way off of the mat and into your world.

“My favorite saying about the martial arts and life is,'My life is my dojo.'” --Tom Callos ( http://www.tomcallos.com/ )

And yet another great thing to have is an instructor with a brain and some awareness. It’s a great, great thing to have friends and mentors who have the makings for a full picnic lunch --and it’s a real bummer when you end up hanging out with someone who turns out to have brought the basket, but forgot to pack the sandwiches.

Oh, and a really wonderful thing to have is a good diet. Without a good diet, the body doesn’t cooperate the way it should and training is never as much fun or as productive as it could (and should) be.

If you’re considering martial arts classes as a way to have some fun while polishing those “things” that you like most about yourself, consider checking us out here. I like to give new students a good, healthy opportunity to see what the training is like (we always start slow and easy). If you have questions, please, call this number: 856-235-0414.

The Power of the Moment

Anger management, environmental self-defense, dietary self-defense, community involvement, meditation, empathy training, and sustainable living represent a part of the new kind of “self-defense lessons” taught in schools that recognize what I call the power of the moment.

That moment is the opening that comes every so often; that moment when the young and impressionable student is listening to his or her martial arts teacher like only a child can –with that wide-eyed acceptance, that fully open mind, ready to grow, instantly absorbing, and highly impressionable.

It is at that moment that we want our hero at the front of the class to speak not about defeating an opponent or striking another human being or winning a tournament; we want to hear words and ideas that inspire compassion, awareness, respect for self, for family, for the community, for the global community, and for the planet.

We want a seed planted and/or watered at that moment; something that has the potential to sprout into a kind of wisdom and happiness that is uncommon, but the deepest wish of every mother and father.

When that moment comes, as I have seen it come so many times, trust that your teacher is fully aware and recognizes what power his or her words, influence, actions, and position wields.

This is the kind of martial arts I am coaching your teacher to practice (and if they have sent this letter to you, then you can assume that he or she is a good student! Note: The best teachers are almost always good students themselves).

My clients are the kinds of teachers who are acutely aware of the power of the moment; they live to create those moments –so that they might make a true contribution to a better and more peaceful world.

We consider this “our business.”

We spend only the smallest amount of time necessary working on how to run our businesses so that we can pay the bills and have money left over (like all business owners); we spend the majority of our energy on coming up with the most innovative, creative, interesting, and powerful ways to create moments of deep learning, constructive and useful attitudes, and the kind of awareness that promotes peace of mind –and peace in action.

To be a part of my programs, your teacher must transform himself (or herself) into someone who makes the pursuit of genuine martial arts mastery a deep, personal and spiritual daily practice.

You can recognize my students because they are training to be in the best shape of their lives; they are eating and living with full consciousness of what they consume; they define and engage their heroes; they practice meditation; they read; and they take on projects with their students that benefit their respective communities; projects that show, firsthand, how to apply their training principles to life —on and off of the mat.

My members are grounded, real –and exuberant people.

Among our ranks is an Academy Award winning filmmaker; there are songwriters, environmental and civil engineers, artists, authors, attorneys, world champions, school teachers, counselors, journalists, grandfathers, grandmothers, fathers, mothers—and all of them are martial artists with a desire to make a difference, here and now, through what they teach and how they teach it.

That is the mission of this work, which is now made up of my work and the work of your teacher.

Find out what your instructor is doing by visiting him at www.PeterLiciaga.org

Martial Arts Lessons: It’s Not About Violence

Just the other day a parent asked me if she thought my classes promoted violent behavior in young boys. She was inquiring about lessons for her son and was concerned that he and his friends might take what they’re learning and use it inappropriately.

I thought it was a fine question.

Yes, there have been a few cases (very few) of students “playing martial arts” with friends, the same way they play as their favorite superheroes, but I’ve never heard of the play being malicious or hurtful. I do, however, hear many stories of my young students using the kind of restraint we talk about in almost every class. I hear many stories of the young people in my program --and other martial arts schools --avoiding violence, avoiding conflict, and staying out of trouble as a result of their training.

A good martial arts teacher adds instructions and advice about how NOT to use martial arts, as often as he or she teaches the technical aspects of the arts.

“The ‘cake’ that is what a martial arts teacher offers his or her students,” says Tom Callos (www.tomcallos.com), the National Director of The One Hundred (www.flavors.me/masterteachers), an association made up of martial arts instructors who embrace education over the more media-prevalent aspects of martial arts instruction, “is made up of blocks, punches, kicks, and other maneuvers, But the real “flour” of the recipe is in the restraint, the self-control, and the attitude of self-discipline that makes up the best-of-the-best the martial arts has to offer.”

And by way of an offer, any reader of this piece that would like to “taste” the cake we produce at our school, need only contact me, Peter Liciaga, Instructor at Dinoto Karate Center to receive a free private or group trial class (no strings attached, no sales pitches, nothing but a genuine “try us”).

And no, it is not about violence or aggression or hurting people. The martial arts are about grown-up adults mentoring young people in the ways of non-violence, self-control, and contribution.

10 Simple Lessons In Self-Defense, For Girls

It’s this simple: Children defend themselves with their heads. It’s knowledge that protects children in today’s world. Knowledge about safety, about what to avoid, about what to do, where to go, and how to stay out of harm’s way.

I’m a part of a remarkable association of martial arts teachers, really forward thinking and action-oriented instructors, who come together almost every day to move worthwhile projects forward. The group is called The One Hundred, it’s headed by a 6th degree black belt named Tom Callos (www.tomcallos.com).

The One Hundred, all of us, work on things that are, literally, “good for the world.” Like we’re bringing diabetes education to martial arts schools and anger management training and environmental self-defense programs. This week we launched a very simple, but powerful website to help girls (young women) learn about a kind of self-defense made just for today’s world.

The site, still being added to and polished, is www.flavors.me/10Lessons . Check it out.

And if you know a young person who could use some self-defense instruction, send them our way. Tell us you visited our 10 Lessons site and we’ll give you a self-defense lesson for free --and one thing you will NEVER get at a school in The One Hundred, is a “sales pitch.” We don’t see over the counter, we sell by engaging in and delivering extraordinary work.

For your free self-defense class and mark my words here, there’s no “hook” or sales pitch in this offer. This is simply a way for you to try our school, before ever THINKING about enrollment. Click HERE or contact us at: 856-235-0414