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Showing posts with label education. Show all posts
Showing posts with label education. Show all posts

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Acting, Movies and Your Mount Laurel Martial Artist

Many of you know that I am an actor and that I’ve been in the theater, tv and films for almost thirty years. Some of you may know that I started as a Salsa dancer in NYC and eventually dance classical ballet.

Can you imagine how exciting it is to travel around the world and meeting great people while doing something that you are passionate about…and being paid?!?!



 

It is very hard work, but I’ve learn so much from these experiences.

My passion for life, people, theater, dance, and acting energize my passion for teaching and martial arts. I’m sure you can see this when I teach or do an event.

One of my favorite things to do is watch movies that have powerful life lessons in them.

One of the things that I will be doing in my 2012 summer program is teaching life lessons and character enhancement skills using movies, vignettes and role-playing.

So one of my research assignments in preparation for the summer program is to watch many, if not all, of my favorite movies. Very cool…

So, today’s post is different from usual. We’re going to take a journey into the topic of movies – specifically, movies with meaningful life lessons for us to learn. Not all the movies may be appropriate for all ages, however, we can draw some valuable life lessons from them.

So, get some popcorn before you continue reading! :)

I’ve put together a list of top movies with important life lessons for us to learn. The films complete with trailers, descriptions, and some with my personal reviews if I’ve watched them before. Following that is a condensed list of more movies with meaningful life lessons which I will be adding to as I move forward in my preparation for my 2012Summer program. There are videos throughout this post.

If you’ve watched any of them, feel free to give your reviews/take in the comments area (no spoilers please!). Also feel free to recommend your favorite inspiring movies so I (and others) can check them out.

I dislike spoilers, so there aren’t any here (nothing that gives away the film anyway). Read on without reservations :)

Not in any order of importance.

Bruce Almighty
Bruce Almighty is a fun film with a meaningful message embedded in it. It’s about a TV reporter who has a constant string of bad things happen to him. He complains that God is doing a poor job as a God – at which point God appeared to him and offered him all his powers to see if he can do a better job. Along the way, he learns lessons that changed his life.


On the whole I think the messages can be played up more – the humor tends to take over the film sometimes, possibly to cater to the mainstream audience. Great weekend film to watch with friends.

The Peaceful Warrior
A while back my wife rented the movie Peaceful Warrior thinking that I would enjoy it. Boy was she right (as always). I love this movie and it’s one of my favorites. I also got turned on to the work, books and writings of the writer, Dan Millman.

Based on Way of The Peaceful Warrior (book), the film features Dan, a student from U.C. Berkeley who has everything a college student could possibly want – the looks, fame, great friends, attention from every girl and talent in his gymnastics, his passion. Yet, he’s unhappy, deeply troubled and has trouble sleeping at night. One night, he meets a spiritual guide and from there his journey of self-discovery begins.


I like the Peaceful Warrior and there are many meaningful messages littered throughout the movie. In fact, I’ve also included several of the quotes in my upcoming inspiring quotes of all time series. Some of my favorites are:

·         “There is never nothing going on. There are no ordinary moments.”
·         “The ones who are hardest to love are usually the ones who need it the most.”
·         “Death isn’t sad. The sad thing is: most people don’t live at all.”
·         “A warrior is not about perfection or victory or invulnerability. He’s about absolute vulnerability. That is the only true courage.”

There’s definitely some good stuff in this movie, especially evidenced by the rave reviews by others. For those who are looking for a deeper meaning in life, this is a great movie to get you started.

The Family Man
The Family Man is a comedy drama about a highly successful, single investment banker who gets to experience how his life would have been if he made a different decision 13 years ago (i.e. choosing to stay with his girlfriend over a fast-lane career). It’s a movie with a ‘what if I had done this instead?’ experience and contrasts the life of one with great wealth and success vs. a quiet family life.


It’s a great movie to that sparks thoughts about your life, though I’m not exactly in agreement with the indirect message the movie sends that life has to be an either/or scenario (in this case, wealth vs. family). It encourages people to justify not pursuing career / wealth goals because they have a family or that they shouldn’t pursue love / have a family because they’re busy with their career. Both are achievable (or else top business people/CEOs/the best performers in their fields would all be singletons, which isn’t the case) – it’s a matter of growing and expanding our capacity.

What I do like is it gets you to reflect on what you’re currently doing in your life. If you continue what you’re doing today, where is it going to lead you? A life of achievements and wealth but with no real friends or loved ones to speak of? A life spent conforming to norms and never taking action to pursue your real goals and dreams? A life just living for others but not for yourself? Someone bitter at life and at the end of it all, yourself? And is this life what you want? If not, what are you going to do to change this outcome?

Similar movies worth checking: It’s a Wonderful Life (1946 film) and A Christmas Carol (classic). These have same “what if” / alternate reality scenarios that get you thinking about your life.

Click
Click is about a man who receives a magical remote controller that allows him to flash back, stop and fast forward through time. He uses it to skip past moments in life that he finds mundane/boring (e.g., family dinner, shower, time taken to get to the next promotion, when he’s sick). Initially it seems fun, but after a while he found it comes with unexpected consequences, which you have to watch to find out.


Forget the demeanor of the trailer/marketing that comes across as your typical Hollywood, slapstick comedy. This really isn’t. At first it may seem like that, but halfway through you realize there’s something deeper that the story is driving. It gets you to think about life’s moments and how every moment is no less important than another. IMO, it drives home the message that “every moment is a moment to be lived” more strongly than Peaceful Warrior.

I really, really love this film and highly recommend this to everyone.

Forrest Gump
Forrest Gump is another movie that I really, really love. Forrest Gump is a 1994 American epic comedy-drama romance film based on the 1986 novel of the same name by Winston Groom. The film was directed by Robert Zemeckis, starring Tom Hanks, Robin Wright and Gary Sinise.

The story depicts several decades in the life of Forrest Gump, a naive and slow-witted native of Alabama who witnesses, and in some cases influences, some of the defining events of the latter half of the 20th century.

I was so emotional as I could connect with Forrest on so many levels. Growing up I always felt like the underdog and I persevered like Forrest to achieve some success / significance in my life. Now for some of the lessons:
  • Honesty is the best policy – throughout the movie Forrest is always honest and even though people do take advantage of his honesty it builds his integrity as a person.
  • Follow your heart – Forrest never gives up on his dreams and when he starts some new project he sees it through to the end.
  • Help other people – while in Vietnam Forrest saves many of his fellow soldiers in a selfless act that wins in the Congregational Medal of Honor.
  • Love unconditionally – Forrest loved his mother and Jenny unconditionally. He wins the love of Jenny in the end but he always gave more then he received.
I’m interested to hear what others liked about this movie which won Tom Hanks his 2nd Best Actor Oscar.



The Secret
A non-fiction movie on Law of Attraction and positive thinking. Law of Attraction refers to the idea that both your conscious and subconscious thoughts affect your outcomes in life, whether through the sub-consciousness and consciousness. The movie took the world by storm and has been featured on Oprah, The Ellen Show, Larry King, among countless other mainstream media.

I watched this movie when I heard about it from friends on www.the100.me back in 2009. At that time I was new to the concept of the LoA, so learning it from the show was definitely intriguing. I’ve since learned more about LoA from reading other blogs and came to appreciate it even more. Basically the concept of LoA syncs with a lot of things I’ve come to conclude from my own experience, so it was more of an affirmation for me.

20 minute clip of the beginning of The Secret

The combination of the imagery, music and the idea of a loose story line weaved in a documentary style with examples drove a very powerful message. Throughout watching the show and afterward, I felt more conscious than my usual self. Just watching this once a week/month can create an upward shift in your consciousness in the long-term (of course, don’t fall into the trap of a self-help junkie – ultimately self-help resources are meant to accentuate actions you’re taking in life – of course this is my humble opinion, as always). I recommend all of you watch this and maybe even get the DVD, since it has high replay value. The core message applies to you no matter what stage of life you’re at.

There are many LoA detractors out there who feel LoA is a hoax. Based on what I’ve read, their thoughts and opinions seem to be a result of a misunderstanding of the concept.

There’s also a companion book of The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. I haven’t read it before but I gather it’s similar in its overall message with the film.

The Bucket List
The Bucket List (movie) is about 2 terminally ill men who cross paths in a hospital after they were diagnosed with lung cancer. Through their treatments, they befriend each other. They decided to embark on a trip to fulfill their bucket list – a list of things they want to do before they die.


I’ve not watched The Bucket List before but I read about the idea elsewhere. I embrace the concept of bucket lists personally.

Space Jam


The winning point of the movie is really the simplicity. It drives home the values of determination, persistence / never giving up, hard work, self-belief and friendship. I love the opening (watch clip above) which shares Jordan’s childhood scene with his Dad, and then the transition to the present day Michael. I got goose bumps watching it. R Kelly’s I Believe I Can Fly is a perfect theme song for the movie.

There is a joke on piracy in the middle of the film (when Bugs and Daffy are in Michael’s house) which I lol-ed when I heard it. You have to watch to find out what it is :D.

The Lion King
Lion King is an all-time classic and hands down the best hand-drawn animated film of all time. Even with all the 3-D films released today (which are great in their own right), none of them come close to matching Lion King in terms of raw quality and appeal. :D


If you haven’t watched Lion King before, please rent/buy/borrow a copy and watch it. I’ve probably watched over 10 timesmaybe it’s because I have kids…hmmm I wonder. I never fail to get emotional during the key scene in the 2nd quarter of the film (those who watched it before will know which one). I continue to re-watch the film once every every so often (again, with the kids? Hmm..) and continue to be moved each time because the story just never gets old. It speaks of love, responsibility, courage and strength.

Pay It Forward
Pay It Forward is about a young boy who creates a good-will movement, where he helps 3 people with something they can’t do themselves. The recipient cannot return the favor and must “pay it forward” by helping 3 other people. The film starts off a little slow, but does pick up mid-way. 3/4s through the film, everything starts to fall into place and the ending is a tear-inducing one. I like how the things unexpectedly reconnect throughout the film. It’s a film of kindness, generosity, warmth and gratitude.


The Pursuit of Happyness
The Pursuit of Happyness is about a salesman who undergoes defeats, challenges and hardship (his wife leaving him, being rendered homeless) to secure a better living for his son. Throughout his journey, he never once gave up, and stood firm to his goals. The mood of the show is slow and somber, intended for the audience to experience more fully what the character is going through. Besides determination, self-belief, persistence and going after our dreams, the story also speaks strongly of a dad’s love for his child.


If you feel like you’ve been down and out in life and just about had enough of it, you should check out this film. It’s based on Chris Gardner‘s true story.

Yes Man!
Yes Man! is about a bank employee (Jim Carrey) who kept saying no to everything in his life until an experience in a motivational seminar changes him to say Yes! to everything that comes his way.


How many times do you say no in life? Do you shut out opportunities without even realizing? Is it about time you say yes to things that come your way? This movie will get you thinking.

More Films With Lessons To Learn
·    Shawshank Redemption – A story showing how your hope and outlook in life is what shapes your life experience, regardless of where you may be (prison or “free” in the world). (It’s quite evident that creators of Prison Break drew inspiration from this film!)
·    Memento – A psychological thriller, except that it’s not your typical one. It’s about a man with anterograde amnesia (a condition where the brain unable to store new memories) who seeks to find justice for his wife’s murder. The fact is I don’t watch thrillers at all, but a friend recommended this to me and I was very impressed by it after watching. For one, Memento is a very smart film executed in a very unique fashion. The film’s events unfold in two separate, alternating narratives — one in color, and the other in black and white. The black and white scenes are told in chronology, while the color scenes are in reverse chronology. By the time the film ends, both narratives converge to shed light on whole investigation. There are different takeaways depending on the viewer. For me it spoke how people put themselves in a state of self-denial and the self-created fantasies, and because of that they pursue a hollow life, putting themselves in pain/anguish.
·    The Butterfly Effect – This is a film of a man who desperately goes back in time to try to change the future for the better, with unexpected consequences each time. The butterfly effect is the phenomenon whereby one little action (the flutter of a butterfly) magnifies over time into a huge effect in the long-run (think along the lines of a tornado). I have the DVD and I have only watched it once because the show is overall very somber and depressing. However, it does have an important message in the film. Many people often wonder “What if I did this?” “What if I did that?”. The point is, we can’t change something without affecting something else in our life. Every decision we make comes with its downsides and upsides, and it’s our role to make the best out of the outcome, rather than regret and wish we did something else (because it is already in the past). Looking backwards prevent us from truly living our life. In the film you can see the character oblivious to everything that’s happening in the present because he is too busy trying to go back in time to change things. I won’t spoil the ending for you – watch the film and catch the outcome yourself.
·    Groundhog Day (recommended by reader Sumit) – A disgruntled TV weather man finds repeating a day over and over again, where only he himself remembers the past day’s events. At first he uses it for his personal advantage; but after a while he starts to evaluate his life and priorities.
·    Rocky series – An underdog club fighter who overcomes all odds to become the world heavyweight champion of all time.
·    The Curious Case of Benjamin Button – An interesting tale of a man who is born in his eighties and ages backwards. Through the film, he experiences the human joys of love, departure, life and death
·    Up in the Air – It’s about a corporate downsizer who travels around the world helping companies lay off people. His life philosophy is about being non-commitment – detaching oneself from things, locations, and especially relationships. Through the course of the film, he meets people who gets him thinking otherwise. I watched Up in the Air but felt that the film didn’t resonate with me. Instead, I felt I was being set up throughout the film for an outcome which never took place. I’m putting it here as there seem to be many rave reviews of it – You might get a different experience watching it.
·    Inception – Of course, who can forget Inception, the 2010 hit film. While it has been better remembered as an action/heist film, there are many personal development lessons to take away from it too.


Monday, February 20, 2012

Words of Wisdom, Pass It On

Commentary by Jacqueline Georgi


This last weekend I watched a Youtube video series called At Risk Youth A Skype Interview with Education Activist Peter Liciaga interviewing his sister Mary Liciaga who is a Parent Partner for Parents with At Risk Youth. I was amazed at the wealth of new information and wisdom that has been shared in the series so far..



As mentioned early on in the interview, all of our kids are at risk for various dangers particular to youth of today. As a parent of two teenagers and working with youth professionaly, it is imperative to inform myself on the techniques and tools I can utilize with successful results.

There were so many things that Mary Liciaga says in her interview that resonates with my experience in working with young people. For example, you can have all the funding, and programs galore, but nothing compares to interacting with a caring, compassionate, loving human being. Having a person-to-person interaction is a crucial element to establish trust which is essential for any help to be effective. These one-to-one interactions take time in which patience and non-judgment are essential components.

To illustrate, helping youth work through their emotional issues, I make it a point to just listen to them when they want to open up and talk.To listen without judgment, or thinking about what we are going to say next, but really listen with all our awareness is beneficial in itself. So many times we are too busy lecturing and giving advice that we forget how just listening to someone can make them feel safe. Some of us don't really know how to listen, and we have to start by learning to focus all our attention on what the person is saying without having our own personal conversation inside.

Another interesting point that was touched upon in Part Two was to focus on the strengths of the person or family, and not just focus on the "problem". Its so true that energy grows where attention goes. In other words, what you focus on grows, therefore, focus on what you have/do that will lead you closer to your goals or resolving the conflict. This technique at problem-solving seems to yield better results, as it helps us to be in the moment, to dig into our hidden talents which are our unique strengths, and relieves the mental fatigue of constantly focusing on the" lack of", conflict, or problem.

Perhaps the most valuable bit of wisdom for me was the discussion about setting goals, meeting deadlines, and/or action plans. Sometimes, these plans fizzle out before they begin, because people may be in "survival mode."This means simply that we are needing to attend to our basic needs of nutrition, rest, and resources of support.. Survival mode needs to be acknowledged and dealt with before we can even begin to think about creating goals. To get out of survival mode, Mary suggests we ask 3 simple questions. Are you eating? How are you sleeping? and Do you see people? Getting into the hole and helping them answer these basic questions is the first step toward goal setting and creating a vision. This is an important step that seems to be generally overlooked and needs more recognition.

Reflecting on this, I would add that many times in my own life, I jump or fall back into survival mode, juggling the complexities of raising a family and working 3 jobs, with getting the right nutrition, enough rest, and surrounding myself with positive people. Maybe slipping back in survival mode a bit happens to all of us, but some of us know beforehand that this will eventually happen, and we know the steps to take that will help us get out of survival mode, and into creating the life we want mode. Its also important to remember that some people have only known survival mode as the only form of living. I would dare say most people in the world are living on economic survival mode, and the system is designed that way to keep us stressed and at the level of productive workers and consumers, but that is for another story....Yes, to some people, surviving is all they know, and the concept of setting positive smart goals may be new to them and need time digest.

Speaking of creating, Mary mentions working with vision boards, and I just got out my vision board kit I bought years ago. What are the chances of bringing out this kit just a few days before hearing someone discuss how they made one? When synchronistic events like this happen, I know I am on the right path with the flow of the Universe, and it fills my heart with gratitude and joy. I will be discussing what vision boards are and how we can create them in a future blog, but for now I'd like to finish by inviting you to check out the series for yourselves, and/or comment your thoughts, and what speaks to you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZfWkYT0YUY

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Your Mount Laurel Martial Artist, Peter Liciaga, Teaches Elite Leadership

I am blessed to be an education activist and martial arts professional educator. Although it can be extremely challenging, the rewards are worth every bit of the hard work.
In order to have the maximum impact on my students, families, community and it's leaders today, I always remember that, first and foremost, I am a martial artist. I strive to be the person that my students think I am.

Next, I remember that I am an education activist and a teacher and I know that our (the martial arts' professional) product IS the classroom. When I step on the "mat", whether I'm in the dojo or in the world, I am there to teach andserve.

Yesterday (2/11/12), I was given the honor to teach an Elite Leadership Training class at Dinoto Karate Center in Mount Laurel NJ. The level of commitment with the participants is high and everyone was there to absorb the lesson of the session and participate at a master level.

I want to thank everyone for their input and help in making this training session an exciting and rewarding experience for me. Getting up earlier and knowing that I will be hanging out with committed, like-minded and highly-motivated martial artist is what I live for! So thank you for your time and energy!

Thank you to those of you that contributed some great feedback. Mr. Altschuler for sharing how important it is to share your successes without being a "bragger". Ms. Gebremedhin, Mr. Gebremedhin, Mr. Sotland, Mr. Webb for stepping up and doing a great job projecting as they read, and contributed thoughts, on the lessons materials. A special thank you to Ms. Alexanderfor sharing her insight and wisdom from her professional and life experiences. All of you are truly a great asset to Dinoto Karate Center.

Here is a quick recap of what was discussed. Please review materials and familiarize yourself with the content (the "meat" of the concepts, ideas and success mindset) and assimilate them into who you are.

Dedicated, Motivated, with the Energy for Excellence!

We discussed Master Elite Leadeship Module #3 - Educate, Motivate, Demonstrate.

Masters Elite Leadership Training - Session Three from Peter Liciaga.
One of the primary purposes that our organization has held true to form since the very beginning is the constant desire to better educate, motivate and demonstrate the values and benefits of leading life as a Black Belt Champion and becoming a successful achiever in life.
Since our humble beginnings in 1975, we have always done our best to raise the standards of the Martial Arts and to develop our instructors to be positive and powerful Models of Excellence.
Martial Arts begins and ends with RESPECT. By treating others in a FRIENDLY and COURTEOUS manner, we set the tone for great long-term relationships that will ultimately bring out the best in everyone.
We also reviewed Power #3: The Power of Positive Progress from Kyoshi Steve LaVallee's 12 Powers of a Successful Sensei.



In preparation for our next Elite Leadership Training Session, see the guide below.
  1. Go to our Dream 100 site at www.theDream100.com (must be an approved member of this site)
  2. Go to the Staff Training tab on main menu.
  3. Click Master Elite Leadership on drop down menu under Staff Training.
  4. Print the worksheet Lesson 4 - Integrity and fill in the "blanks" as you watch / listen the 9-minute video/audio. Print the Worksheet HERE | Access the Video HERE
  5. After completing worksheet, go to the Staff Training tab and click on Lavalle's 12 Powers
  6. Watch Video, Power #4: The Power of Preparation form Kyoshi Lavalle's 12 Powers of a Successful Sensei
If you are interested joining Elite Leadership Training, please feel free to email me at pliciaga@gmail.com or call 856-235-0414.

Remember, Live Well and Be Dedicated and Motivated with the Energy for Excellence!

Master Liciaga



This blog is part of Peter Liciaga's effort to promote Dinoto Karate Center (http://www.MountLaurelMartialArts.com) and the Ultimate Black Belt Test Program ( http://www.ultimateblackbelttest.com), which is an undertaking of The 100. (http://www.the100.us/), and a part of Peter Liciaga's Dream 100 Project.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

At-Risk Youth | Sweet Child of Mine (OURS)

Today doing research for my projects, At-Risk Youth and 10 Simple Lessons of Self-Defense for Youth,  I came across Guns & Roses' "Sweet Child O Mine" and was moved emotionally.

If I could (with the $ and connections) I would love to use this song to
bring awareness to our at-risk youth.





Play video below, close your eyes and think of our at risk youth.

Here is the video from youtube and some info from it's youtube notes...


The "Sweet Child O' Mine" video depicts the band rehearsing in an abandoned theater, surrounded by crew members. Several of the band members' girlfriends were shown in the clip. Izzy Stradlin's dog was also featured. The video was extremely successful on MTV, and helped launch the song to success on mainstream radio. 
In an effort to make "Sweet Child O' Mine" more marketable to MTV and radio stations, the song was cut from 5:56 minutes to 4:12, with much of Slash's guitar solo removed. This move drew the ire of the band members, including Axl Rose, who commented on it in a 1989 interview with Rolling Stone: "I hate the edit of 'Sweet Child o' Mine.' Radio stations said, "Well, your vocals aren't cut." "My favorite part of the song is Slash's slow solo; it's the heaviest part for me. There's no reason for it to be missing except to create more space for commercials, so the radio-station owners can get more advertising dollars. When you get the chopped version of 'Paradise City' or half of 'Sweet Child' and 'Patience' cut, you're getting screwed."[7] 
On an interview on Eddie Trunk's New York radio show in May 2006, Axl Rose stated that his original concept for the video focused on the theme of drug trafficking. According to Rose, the video was to depict an Asian woman carrying a baby into a foreign land, only to discover at the end that the child was dead and filled with heroin. This concept was rejected by Geffen Records. 
There is also an alternative video for "Sweet Child O' Mine" with different captures and the footage entirely in black and white. 
The Lyrics
She's got a smile that it seems to me
Reminds me of childhood memories
Where everything
Was as fresh as the bright blue sky
Now and then when I see her face
She takes me away to that special place
And if I stared too long
I'd probably break down and cry 
(Woahhhh) Sweet child o' mine
(Woah oh oh oh) Sweet love of mine 
She's got eyes of the bluest skies
And if they thought of rain
I hate to look into those eyes
And see an ounce of pain 
Her hair reminds me of a warm safe place
Where as a child I'd hide
And pray for the thunder
And the rain
To quietly pass me by 
(Woah oh oh oh) Sweet child o' mine
(Woah oh oh oh) Sweet love of mine
(Woah oh oh oh) Sweet child o' mine
(Woah oh oh oh) Sweet love of mine 
Where do we go
Where do we go now
Where do we go
(Confusing parts with Duff and Axl singing)
Sweet child o' mine

Peter Liciaga is a member of Tom Callos' The Ultimate Black Belt Test (http://www.ultimateblackbelttest.com/), an undertaking of The 100 (http://www.the100.us/), and a part of Dinoto Karate Center's master instructor staff (http://www.mountlaurelmartialarts.com/

To find out more about Peter Liciaga, visit www.PeterLiciaga.org


Sunday, February 5, 2012

Building a Positive and Productive Future (child, youth, teen, adult)


A Report on Black Belt Leadership Training.

In this study, I’m going to explore the benefits that you have (not “should”) experienced in participating in a “black belt” martial arts course. Please feel free to add your comments, suggestions, and/or questions below.
I started martial arts when I was nine. That’s 41 years ago! Wow, I can’t believe it’s been that long. I never knew that I would one day be using martial arts training as the heart of my personal development and growth.
Today, at 50 years and 9 months old, I find that my martial arts training, discipline, education and activism is what keeps me growing and moving forward daily.

My ability to process (and handle) every day successes and stresses is credited to the integrity and discipline that martial arts training challenges me to live.
Whenever I am confronted with a challenge, my first thought is, “what can I DO to overcome this challenge?” What resources are out there? Who can I connect with? What can I learn from this?

Martial arts training allows me to be “successful” as a man, husband, father, son, brother, friend, student, educator, activist, and citizen.
How has black belt training helped you? Please feel free to add your comments, suggestions, and/or questions below.
Peter Liciaga is a member of Tom Callos' The Ultimate Black Belt Test (http://www.ultimateblackbelttest.com/), an undertaking of The 100 (http://www.the100.us/), and a part of Dinoto Karate Center's master instructor staff (http://www.mountlaurelmartialarts.com/)

To find out more about Peter Liciaga, visit www.PeterLiciaga.org

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Peter Liciaga uploads 15 Tutorial Videos on Modern Arnis Training! WOW!

I have 15 videos on youtube documenting my Modern Arnis training with Sensie Les Kiersnowski. I recorded these for my 5th degree black belt test in Tang Soo Do with Master Dinoto in Mount Laurel's Dinoto Karate Center.

Thank you Sensie Les! :)


Peter Liciaga is a member of Tom Callos' The Ultimate Black Belt Test (http://www.ultimateblackbelttest.com/), an undertaking of The 100 (http://www.the100.us/), and a part of Dinoto Karate Center's master instructor staff (http://www.mountlaurelmartialarts.com/)

To find out more about Peter Liciaga, visit www.PeterLiciaga.org

Thursday, November 24, 2011

How Kids Learn To Follow Directions and Ways to Get Your Child to Listen

The Professional Martial Arts Educator’s Corner
Learning to follow directions is very important life skill. From being a “First Time Listener” to following directions, a martial arts educator’s number one priority is to make sure all students understand the importance of being the best student they can be and this begins with following directions.

Developmentally we measure whether it is a one step command or more, but in the whole scheme of life it is much more important than that. Your Mount Laurel Martial Arts educator, Peter Liciaga, offers some practical suggestions for improving your child’s compliance with doing what they are told.

As martial arts professionals, we can help teach parents these techniques. These techniques increase parental follow through which can produce the desired results from their children. We can also use these ideas ourselves, in our interactions with children and families, to achieve the cooperation we are striving for.

How Kids Learn to Follow Directions:
13 Easy Ways to get Your Children to Listen -- and Mind
Reported Created by Peter Liciaga

When I went to my five-year-old son’s room-20 minutes after I’d sent him to his room to put on his karate uniform –Christian was sitting on the floor in his play clothes, happily playing with his Hot Wheels. Though I tried to stay calm, my voice grew sharp with annoyance as I asked, "What are you doing? I told you to get ready for karate!"

Few things are as frustrating and as infuriating, as having our children ignore our instructions. But how do we convince our children that it's important to follow directions—not just to please us or avoid punishments, but to make their own lives easier as well? After all, a child's health and safety can depend on his ability to follow orders and direction. And kids function better in school, sports and other group activities when they know how to carry out instructions. Here's some expert guidance on getting your kids to do as they're told.

What to avoid
The methods parents typically use to get children to listen are often ineffective or actually encourage noncompliance, according to a study by Edward Christophersen, PhD, professor of pediatrics at Children's Mercy Hospital in Kansas City, Missouri, and author of Beyond Discipline: Parenting That Lasts a Lifetime (Westport Publishers). He and other experts advise steering clear of some common mistakes.
·         Don't say "don't." A negative instruction like "Don't let me come home and find that you still haven't done your homework!" is much more likely to be ignored than one that gives a positive alternative, such as "Please get started on your homework right after you eat your snack this afternoon." Emphasizing what your child is not to do has pitfalls, Chistophersen says. Kids under age frequently misunderstand negative directions—particularly if they are shouted—and may hear "Don't bring that wet dog into your room" as a command to "Bring the wet dog into your room." Older children may find that disregarding a "don't" can be more rewarding than obeying it: They get your attention that way.
·         Reasoning gets little or no results. Explaining why certain actions are undesirable—"If you leave your toys lying around, you might trip over them and hurt yourself"—has no impact on children under age six, Christophersen finds. Your words simply go in one ear and out the other. "A young child doesn't relate to abstract future consequences, so he's not likely to be motivated by a warning like this. Since he isn't hurt right now, he doesn't feel there's anything to worry about."

With an older child, a detailed list of reasons for every rule can spark a tedious debate or, at best, create short-lived compliance, he adds. You might get a 10-year-old to return a book to the library on time by explaining that if she doesn't, she'll have to pay the fine out of her allowance. However, she'll probably forget to return the next book she borrows because at this age, dipping into her piggy bank isn't nearly as painful as wasting precious playtime to walk to the library.
·         The more you nag, the less kids listen. It's very easy for parents to slip into the "nagging and shouting syndrome," observes psychotherapist James Windell, MA, author of Children Who Say No When You Want Them to Say Yes (Macmillan Books). "When a child doesn't respond the first time she's told to do something, parents often repeat the request over and over until they finally lose their temper and start shouting. The message you give your child when you let her tune you out many times is that there's no need to pay attention to you until you're screaming."
·         Avoid empty ultimatums or threats. Making impulsive threats when a child doesn't listen, such as "Do this right now, or I'm going to ground you!" is another common mistake parents make, Windell says. This can create a no-win situation, because kids resent being forced to give in. As a result, they often get angry and end up focusing on that anger instead of concentrating on what you asked them to do.

Tactics to try

With a few minor adjustments in the way you give directions, you can prevent communication problems as well as create an atmosphere that encourages cooperation. These attention-getting strategies will help you get your message through to your kids.
·         Lay the right groundwork. The time to work on better communication with your child isn't when you're already knee-deep in conflict over something he's forgotten to do, but during the calm moments of the day, says Susan K. Golant, co-author of Getting Through to Your Kids (Lowell House). "Show your child you're curious about what's going on with him, so he feels comfortable discussing any problems that may be making him less attentive than usual. You might want to set aside time each day to talk."

What if your child is too young for such discussions? "Play activities are a good way to elicit a preschooler's feelings," adds Golant. "If your four-year-old is being balky, you could use dolls or puppets to act out the situation. She'll probably laugh when she sees the 'child' puppet dawdling instead of getting dressed or eating dinner. Then you can ask her why the puppet is doing that. Also try giving her the 'Mommy' puppet, so you can see how she perceives your behavior toward her. You may get some unexpected insights into how you interact with each other."
·         Define your expectations. A key step to having your child hear you is to decide exactly what you'd like him to do, emphasizes Windell. "Many parents fail to tell their kids what they expect of them—but get angry anyway when their child doesn't do a particular task," he says. "Mom or Dad comes home from work, sees their kid has left dirty dishes and food out in the kitchen, then greets him with an outburst, such as 'What's wrong with you? Can't you even clean up your own mess?' Since the child was never given clear instructions to do this, he'll get angry about this unjust attack, and that leads to an unpleasant confrontation."

A more productive approach would be to come up with a precise, positive guideline you want your child to follow. For example, try saying "After your snack, I want you to put your dishes in the dishwasher and the food back in the fridge."
·         Get her undivided attention. Before telling your child about an important rule or expectation, eliminate potential distractions. If he's playing, ask him to put down his toys for a minute, then move them out of his reach. Turn off the TV or radio, and sit down next to him. Make sure he is facing you before you speak—you may need to gently turn his shoulders toward you or touch his cheek to get his total attention. Next, look him right in the eyes, and use his name: "Christian, I need you to ask me before you go out into the yard."
·         Let your child help make some of the rules. Everyone, kids and adults, wants to have a say in things that concern them. To help your child feel that he's not always being bossed around, request feedback from him if possible as you make a new rule or give him instructions to do something. For example, a 10-year-old might be told, "I notice that there are candy wrappers on your floor. What do you think would be a good rule to help you remember to throw them away in the future?" Giving a child a say gives him motivation to follow the rule or direction—and he's less likely to claim you're unfair.
·         Give choices—not commands. Whenever possible, let your kids decide how or when to follow your directions. With a five-year-old, you might say, "You need to put away your crayons. Do you want to do that now or in fifteen minutes?" Again, giving your child some say in what procedures she's to follow can often prevent power struggles.

Be careful, however, not to use words implying that not doing the task is one of the options, notes Windell. "If you say, 'Would you mind taking the garbage out?' your youngster probably won't realize this is meant as a rhetorical question. She's likely to argue with you, because in her mind, the answer is yes, she would mind taking the garbage out and would rather have somebody else do it. If you want to offer her a choice, make it clear that what she gets to decide is when to do the job, not whether to do it."
·         Make instructions easy to understand. Many parents give directions that are too broad and open to misinterpretation. Instead of just telling your nine-year-old to clean out his closet, break the task down into several steps, and stay with him until the job is completed. You might begin by saying, "Put the dirty clothes in the hamper." Next, tell him, "Put all the toys in this box." Then say, "Throw those crumpled papers in your wastebasket."
·         Ask your child to repeat your request. Getting your youngster to recite rules and instructions out loud can prevent tearful protests of "I didn't know" or "I didn't understand" later on. Ask young, easily distracted kids to repeat your directions silently to themselves several times. Offer older kids a written checklist or, better still, have them write down the information themselves.
·         Create positive and negative consequences. Offering a reward for following your directions, and a penalty for disregarding them, has two important advantages, Windell says. First, you'll provide motivation for your child to mind you when you tell her that if she finishes her homework by six, she'll have time to watch her favorite TV show. Then you'll reinforce the message by reminding her that if she doesn't, the TV will stay off all evening. "You'll also give your kid the freedom to decide how she wants to behave, instead of giving her the feeling she's being forced to do what you say," observes Windell.
·         Acknowledge good behavior. Do you pay more attention to your kids when they shout or ignore you than when they quietly follow directions? "What most parents don't realize is that even so-called 'negative' attention can reinforce disobedience unless you make an effort to balance it by noticing and appreciating your kids when they're being good," says Christophersen. "Give them a brief hug or a kind word anytime you see they're doing something you approve of. You don't have to make a big deal of it—a quick pat on the back now and then can do more to get your kids to cooperate than an hour of reprimands." So stop scolding, and start setting loving limits that make everybody feel good about doing what you say, when you say it!
Education Activist, Peter Liciaga, is a Master Martial Arts Educator and a father of two who lives in Mount Laurel, New Jersey.
Peter is also a Master Instructor at Dinoto Karate Center in Mount Laurel NJ and a member of The 100 and The Ultimate Black Belt Test. Both programs were created by instructor, mentor and friend, Tom Callos, who has over 40 years experience teaching and training in the martial arts.