Constantly Catch Your Kids Doing Something Right

From Dave Kovar's Blog!

This is an excerpt my book, “A Dad’s Toolbox for Better Parenting”. This story is titled “Constantly catch your child doing things right” and it illustrates a great example of what not to do with your relationships.

As a child, I spent a lot of time down the street at the Gray family’s house. They had a pool, a billiards table and a whole lot of ice cream in the freezer. The only drawback was Mrs. Gray. All the kids referred to her as the “neighborhood nag.” She was constantly on both of her boys and, for that matter, her boys’ friends. Nothing was ever done well enough to suit her. She constantly found fault.

One day, Mr. Gray asked his sons and me to clean up the kitchen before Mrs. Gray got home. We went to it, almost excited as we anticipated Mrs. Gray’s compliment on a job well done. Upon her return, the boys raced out to meet her, excited to show her what we had accomplished. Instead of appreciating our efforts, she complained that the floor hadn’t been swept and the garbage had not been emptied. I remained friends with the Gray boys for years to come. I didn’t see them try to please their mother after that incident. After all, pleasing her was impossible. Why even try?

Over the years, their relationship with their mother continued to deteriorate until, last I heard, they no longer had contact with her. I know she loved her boys, but in her attempt to “make them better,” she never praised their efforts or caught them doing things right. Mrs. Gray taught me a lot of what not to do as a parent. Correcting my children is necessary at times, but I spend more time looking for what they’re doing right. The more I look, the more I discover.

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The Kovar Story

In 1978, Kyoshi (Master Teacher) Dave Kovar opened his first school with a vision to empower people by teaching martial arts on a completely different level than could be found anywhere else. He was soon joined by his brother Tim who brought innovative business practices to the operation. Their reputation for combining self defense and life skills grew and as the word spread, Kovar’s Martial Arts opened new locations, garnered awards, earned prestigious industry accolades and gained nationwide recognition.


Today, the organization is named Kovar’s Satori Academy, adding in the Japanese word ‘Satori’ which symbolizes our goal for all students: Which means to be “in the moment… at your best.”

If you would like a free copy of Dave's book, "A Dad's Toolbox for Better Parenting", call Dinoto Karate Center in Mount Laurel NJ at 856-235-0414.

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